Tales From Azaroth
by xXMethereaperXx
Summary: A mysterious bard from Azaroth stumbles into a bar during a severe storm, and the residents of Happy Tree Town decide to listen to his music, and recover more about themselves than they themselves knew! Prologue, is up!


This idea came to me when listening to a song, so I figured it's worth a try.

Basically, this traveling bard arrives in a bar in HTT and offers to reveal secrets about people. The story will have to do with songs played by the bard. It will use every character, even one or two of my OCs, but they won't be first.

Almost forgot, I found a loophole with music. If the lyrics appear on a 'certain site', it's deemed public and thus has no copyright.

Well, here we go.

* * *

A figure stands on the crest of a hill overlooking Happy Tree Town. A hood is raised over his face exposing only a mouth and half a nose. A tail flickered back and forth behind him, and his black robes made it seem as if a possessed snake was floating in mid air. A snake that was the color yellow.

A flash of lightning briefly illuminates the sky and the resulting thought brought no sign of emotion from the creature who merely smirked and began his descent into the town. He moved as if he were not caught in a hurricane which was currently assaulting the town.

Inside a bar, every member of the town sought refuge from the harsh weather, deeming if the town flooded the bar would be safer than being trapped in their homes. Many boxes of supplies, food, clean water, and several weapons, donated by Flippy, were piled in an now vacant corner, them having barricaded the windows and doors.

No one could leave or enter.

So they thought.

Flippy walked from the bar and handed out cups of coffee which had just been brewed by a small machine.

"Thanks." Toothy mumbled as he took the steaming cup and blew away the trails of steam.

Splendid shook his head when offered and turned back to where he was standing over Sniffles, who happened to be tinkering with a TV set, "Anything?"

Sniffles' hand fluttered around on the floor and grasped the tool he was looking for, "Not yet, but rust me. Once it's done we'll, 5/8s please," Splendid nudged the wrench towards the outstretched hand with his foot, "We'll have more stations than a TV station!"

Splendid sighed and looked back to the group who was talking quietly, doing anything they could to take their minds of the storm.

"… and you know Lifty and Shifty are having a field day with everyone out of their houses!" said a white bear as he looked disgustedly towards the barricaded doors.

"Well," began Flaky as she swirled around her still full cup, "I'm more worried about flash flooding. It's easier to r-replace a tv than a house."

Meth grunted his reply and looked absentmindedly around the room, "Are we missing anybody?"

"Well, Lumpy's in the backroom, Cuddles and Giggles went to the second floor with Nutty to check for leaks, Petunia's hyperventilating, Handy's looking for any tools, Russell stayed on his boat, Mime's hiding somewhere, other than Lifty and Shifty, I'd say everyone is here."

"Got it!" Sniffles yelled as he slid out of the large TV and pressed a button on a remote causing the TV screen to produce static.

"Damn it! Mute the fucking thing!" Flippy yelled as he covered his ears and tried to think of anything other than scrambled military frequencies.

Sniffles pushed the button and Flippy cleared his head. At the sound, Nutty, Cuddles, and Giggles came running down the stairs with Handy in tow.

"Find anything?" asked Cuddles who joined the circle.

"Channel 4." said Petunia who had quickly come to her senses.

Sniffles obeyed and unmated the TV to show an empty news station set playing on the screen. It was quiet, and resembled a still photograph.

Abruptly, voices came through the speakers.

"… let's face it, she digs me. I but we'll fuck on the first date!" said Shifty who had his hat tilted backwards on his head.

"Dude, she's a skunk! Have you even thought about the smell?"

Shifty shrugged at his brother and began digging through a drawer, "Pussy is pussy, my dear friend."

Lifty considered this for a moment then began looting as well.

Everyone's gave drifted from the TV to Petunia, who's face was redder than an apple. She looked as if she might take a run at Flaky's quills, just to avoid the embarrassment.

At that moment, a close up of Lifty appeared on the TV and it seemed as if he was looking directly at the group.

"Hey Shifty, what does the red light on this camera mean?"

Shifty looked up and wiped sweat from his forehead before returning to his bag, "I don't know. Probably means standby, or charging."

Lifty nodded and tilted his head, still looking at the camera, "We can get a lot for a camera like this right?"

As soon as the words exited his mouth, the bar was plunged into darkness, following a bright flash of lightning.

Flaky's scream pierced the air and everyone yelled for her to be quiet.

"Flaky, carefully feel you way to the wall. We don't want anyone accidentally getting impaled." Suggested Flippy as he simultaneously moved slowly towards the supplies.

"Fine." Replied Flaky who began moving forward slowly while waving her arms in front of her.

"Hey! Get your hands out of my pants!" yelled Meth who began laughing.

A loud sigh was heard as Flaky came to a stop next to the wall.

"Splendid, light some candles." Toothy said while he helped Flippy look through boxes for a flashlight.

A loud whirring sound was heard as Splendid began charging laser beams from his eyes.

"Just use a damn lighter!" said Handy, deeming himself un-needed for this stage of survival.

Another sigh, and moments later a light appeared and some vision was regained.

"Handy, go and check the fuses." said Flippy as he tried to make out what could be done with the dim lights of Toothy's flashlight he had found after Splendid lit a candle.

"Give me the flashlight." said Handy as he approached Toothy.

Toothy held the flashlight in the air and replied, "Give me head! I found it first!"

Handy growled and lunged at his younger brother who braced for the impact. Almost immediately, they were rolling on the floor, Handy flailing the remnants of his arms and Toothy swinging his fists.

The flashlight rolled out of Toothy's grip but was ignored by the beavers as it came to rest facing the wall, illuminating a robed figure who sat quietly at a booth.

Petunia knelt to pick up the flashlight while everyone else tried to calm down the feud.

"Guys!"

Everyone stopped and looked where the flashlight was pointed. Splendid, who had picked up the siblings had dropped them shaking the floor with a soft thud.

"Good evening, I hope my intrusion wasn't dour at this point. I was merely seeking salvation from the hideous vengence, which is mother earth."

Everyone looked at each other, then back to the figure.

"This be a pub, eh? May I request an ale, or lager?"

Flippy handed the figure a glass of whatever he found behind the bar and waited for him to finish.

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you get in? we had the place pretty well barricaded."

The robe wearing figure tipped his glass over and tapped it with a spoon, "I be not the usual bard. I come from Azaroth, a mystical town which resides beneath the river styx."

"Oookay…"

The figure glanced at the confused faces and opened a slit in his robe and produced a lute, "Is there anyone who wishes to hear the song of a bard?"

"I'm confused." pouted Giggles who appeared to have a massive headache.

"Why, maybe I should re-iterate. I specialize in revealing one's past, present, and future all for a trivial cost. But seeing as the circumstances are, I am indebted for shelter and refreshments, so I shan't charge firstly."

The room fell silent, save for the sound of the rain crashing against the walls and windows, and the occasional thunder clash.

"Anyone?"

The group turned around and huddled, "Who's it gonna be?"

"Not it!"

"Not it!"

"Not it!"

"Not it!"

After the not it's were had, sighs were exchanged and Sniffles removed a coin from his pocket, "Okay, a tournament will settle this. First it's Flaky and Meth at coin toss, Flippy and-"

"I say Sniffles goes first!"

"Well, we can't ramble on. Who's it gonna be?"

* * *

Well, there's the Prologue!

I plan to have every chapter be a part of a characters experience. E.G, a chapter for each past, present, and future.

I haven't yet decided on which character to go first, so we'll take a vote. Depending on who wins the vote, I'll have a song picked out.

Thanks for reading.


End file.
